Ahhhhh!

So I haven't blogged in a while and I apologize... and I have no excuse, I'm just a slacker who got obsessed with Mafia Wars, Pirates and virtual farming. Just trying to escape real life I suppose...

I am tired of escaping! Every time I get really depressed, I hibernate. I go to work, I go home, I sleep, and I hide - until I stop being sad. But this time, I got restless in my hibernation. I want to get out and be part of the world. So now is the time that I stop hibernating and get out of the house (or at least let people in!) Maybe the difference this time is I have friends that are coaxing me out of hibernation. Maybe it's the meds. Whatever it is that is different this time, I hope it sticks around.

I finally feel like I can breathe. Literally and figuratively. My asthma is finally under control and I think I know what to do to keep it that way. Our finances are finally caught up. I am loving not having all the credit card bills and wondering how to pay this and that and the other thing. It is such a relief to be able to just have the current month's bills in front of you and know that there might actually be a little extra. Right now I feel very very blessed.

Also Skip and I are entering another round of baby-making :) Most of you know that I already have my 4 sweet angel babies, but this time, the doctors think that we might actually get to keep the next one (or ones). Yes, I have MS, but the neurologist says that pregnancy actually does good things for MS. Since your immune system changes when you are pregnant, your body protects itself and the baby, so most pregnant women have no MS attacks during pregnancy. And yes, I have the blood-clotting disorder, but apparently it is not as bad as it could be and I just have to keep taking my aspirin and folic acid to thin my blood and that should be no problem this time.

This picture is the catalyst for my latest bout of baby fever. Well this picture and the fact that it seems like everywhere I look there is another pregnant friend or friends with adorable children (and yes, I tagged you - send me some of the water y'all are drinking!). Anyway, this is one of my baby pictures and I love it. I love my mama. And I want to be one so bad...

Me and my Mama ♥

I love it when stuff ...

I love it when stuff just works out. I am often the optimist in our household, and many times things work out. I did not expect things to work out quite this well. At the Theatre Mercado production meeting today, there was much good news and big changes coming up for our company. This is very exciting! We have our own space now!! Woo-hoo!!

We are now partnering with a film company so just like we dreamed Theatre Mercado will encompass all of the arts. We have live/stage theatre, filmed acting, visual art, musicians, dance, .... the list goes on and on. It really will be an arts marketplace right here in downtown Chattanooga. Exciting!

I cannot believe I was about to walk away from all this last week. After Thursday's meeting I was so mad... but I decided to just to take a deep breath (and a giant chill pill) and wait and see what happens. This is so amazing that God (and the theatre gods!) have blessed our company!

Stuff is working out all around me too! My friend LIndsay got a job and is moving back to Chattanooga this month. Hoo-ray for friends moving back to town, instead of away! Hooray indeed. My friend Anne has internet again and read my blogs so hooray for Internet! I figured out how to get on Vox on my new phone, so hooray for blogging! Speaking of phones, I love my new phone. It is almost like a mini laptop and so kicks iPhone's bootay, so hooray for Palm Pre! I am getting paid to do theatre, Anne gets paid to go rafting, Lindsay gets paid to work within her field, my dad is finally getting his disability checks, my husband gets paid to play with computers, so hooray for paychecks! Ok, so finally I really am happy - I promise it's not just the happy pills talking - which is a complete 180 from last summer. It's amazing how much life can change in a year!

QotD: My Biggest Environmental Pet Peeve

"Littering, long showers, not recycling... What's your biggest pet peeve about the way some people (mis)treat our planet?"
Sponsored by One Million Acts of Green brought to you by Cisco.

We all have become accustomed to "too much." This concept is definitely part of the modern American culture. I think it is sad the way that we have all lost our sense of enough. Losing this sense has caused us to be greedy and selfish and hoard up resources until our houses are merely the places to hold our stuff and there is no longer room to live. I have always loved the show (and books) "Little House on the Prairie." It amazed me how so many people could live in that little tiny house. But it was enough. Most in Walnut Grove had enough to live on, and if they had extra, they shared with their neighbors. Today, many Americans don't even know their neighbors. We could regain our sense of community and unity, then we would also become more green. If you care about your community and your neighbors, then you tend to think outside of yourself and you tend to do things that protect the surroundings of yourself and your neighbors.

Sunday Revelations

I had several very deep & profound thoughts in church today. Here are a few of my thoughts from today:

I was praying for peace about the recent loss of our foster child who moved back to a family member's home. I really had been struggling whether we made the right decision, did any of the last two years matter, what she would remember or take away from her time here, etc., and so on. Then it hit me... God always has a reason for everything. And we may not get to know His reasons for many years to come, if ever in this lifetime, but He always has a reason. My husband and I have been praying for months on end for God to help us to fix our finances, fix our marriage, fix our stress level... what if this was his answer. Get rid of the kid. Drastically changes our budget, gives us more time together as just a couple, and very much lowers the stress level. I still am not completely at peace with what happened or how it happened, but it did comfort me to remember that God does have a plan and only He knows the endgame. As much as I want to be in control of my own life, I am not - God is because I belong to God. Which just so happened to be sorta the topic of the sermon...

My pastor is so cool!! In his sermon, he equated God with Superman. He said we hold tight to God when we are scared just like Lois held onto Superman when they were flying. But we forget that God is holding onto us too. Superman was never gonna let Lois fall; God will never let us fall either. Thank you for reminding me of that! You, most awesome amazing preacher ever - I love you!

I am a writer... (version 2.0)

So I realized that a lot of stuff from my original blog intro is no longer accurate. There are some things that some of my closest friends didn't even know, because it was painful & awkard to talk about in the beginning. Here's an update...

Our pseudo-adopted teen is gone. She went to live with some cousins that have also been very influential & helpful to getting her mother some help she needed. I'm not happy about the way the change happened nor it was the right time, but part of loving a child is teaching them all you can as a parent and then allowing their free will to take over. Baby birds can't fly unless the mother kicks them out of the nest; baby giraffes learn to run because the mama giraffe keeps knocking it over every time it stands up. So all I can do is hope that she learned the things she needed to learn about life in the time that she was here and that when the time arises, she will remember those things and make the right decisions for herself...

Also I have been loving my neighborhood even more since I've been having to defend her to ignorant people who have know idea what its like to live in Ridgedale as of late (probably more on that later). I have actually been meeting more people in the few blocks around our house. The Ridgedale such a melting pot of people... I am less of a minority than I thought. Our neighborhood is predominately African-American; that part is true. But I have discovered that one the block across the street, there are at least 2 white families, 2 Hispanic families, and a few mixed race families. On the 2 blocks between us and McCallie Ave., there is a white outdoorsy couple that always has a kayak on the roof of their car, another white family, at least 2 mixed-race families, and at least 2 Hispanic families. I truly think my neighborhood is amazing. Ridgedale represents the melting pot that is America and I am proud to live here.

Sister Madonna Hardbody

ABC Nightly News interviewed a 78- year-old woman tonight.. Her name is Sister Madonna. She is a nun, a triathelete, and one of my new heroes. She has been a nun since she was 23 because it was her calling and life-long dream. Then she started running at age 47 when the priest suggusted she take the time to run and spend the time getting closer to God. She was so good at running, she did a marathon. She had discovered a new-found aptitude and love for sports, so she added cycling and swimming and soon started training for a triathalon. People question her on how running & such conflicts with her faith. Her response ( in front of a clip of "The Bionic Nun" trail-running) was "Not at all - I train in the middle of his masterpieces every day. It doesn't get any better than that!"

I admire her because she has obviously has taken care of her body well... I often wonder how so many people do it. I love eating junk, fatty foods (they just taste so good), and all the good traditional southern foods. I, like many, emotionally eat as well. Maybe I need to find out what nuns nosh on? I also love watching movies & TV, surfing the internet, readaing, scrappbooking - none of my main hobbies burn a lot of calories.. This is why I am not a triathelete.

I admire her because she turned an commonplace exercise and turned it into a spiritual experience. I admire the she makes prayer active, part of body, mind & soul, something that I strive to do, but haven't really mastered. I am trying to do yoga as of late. I like that is quiet, relaxing, and low impact. Yoga is very adaptive, so it conforms to my MS for that particular day. Some days I do it all with ease; some days I can't even get my foot off the ground for tree pose. I also like yoga because I can pray & meditate but that will only happen when I learn to clear my brain. This is why I'm not a marathon pray-er.

I wish I knew more about this woman...

Avoid Stress??

So today I had another visit from my least favorite MS visitor, the inability to swallow. This was one of the worst episodes I've ever had. I usually will get to eat the majority of my meal before everything just stops going down. It's like there was rush hour in my esophagus and a little traffic jam just turned into a 20 car pile-up. It usually only happens when I eat too fast or I'm in an extreme emotional state... too excited, too angry, too stressed. Well, this time I only took about 3 bites before I had to run to the bathroom and make myself feel like a bulimic teenager again. And usually have that embarassing & unfortunate trip, I can usually go back to the table and finish my meal. Not only did I have to pack up my beautiful Cracker Barrel catfish, hasbrowns, cinnamon apples, and country biscuits, but I could not eat them until 2 hours later when everything was absolutely cold.

I have talked to my primary doc & my neuro-dude & my allergy man. Since it doesn't happen with specific foods, allergies was ruled out. So it's either because instead of having an esophagus like a human, I have one like a cat's, and just like my dad & grandfather. Or when I get too stressed, my brain shuts off & my body forgets how to eat. Or a combination of both.

My doctors always tell me to avoid stress. Firstly, I want to take a page from SNL's Amy Poehlor & Seth Myer and say, "Really?" Because I don't see any way to avoid stress. There are things I can do limit my stress level; I can relieve my stress level. but avoid it completely. Really?Avoid stress. Hmm. Why didn't I think of that. Really! You know, because I just really enjoy stres, having those clenched up shoulders, the knot in my neck and the pit of my stomach. I love it! Really!

So if anyone knows any ways to avoid stress, feel free to let me know. 'Cause I'm out ...

simple things

Why are the simple things often so complicated?

I long for more simplicity in my life. 

It should be simple to stay married to your spouse. 
But marriage is hard work and many people are lazy. And many people get married for the wrong reasons.

It should be simple to take care of your children. 
But many are not ready to be parents and their children have to suffer. Many parents continue to make their children pawns in their games of life, jockeying for power and status, often at the detriment of their children.

It should be simple to make a living. 
But too many live beyond their means. Unemployment is skyrocketing, and since so many just live for the moment, never thinking about tomorrow, we are all in trouble.

I'm not saying that divorce is ALWAYS wrong. I'm not saying that all people that get divorced were lazy. I'm just saying it has way too commonplace in our nation. I am a minority with my parents being married 36 years. Instead of arguing about whether the gay couples can have the same legal rights as married people, why don't we work on strengthen our own unions? People tell me that gay people getting married will destroy the American family. Really? You mean, it will destroy the less than half of American couples that actually stayed married anyway. I think the American institution of marriage has already shot itself in the foot.

I used to say, "Some people just should not reproduce." But I cannot say that. It is not fair to say that. There are too many beautiful, wonderful children in our world that just had the unfortunate fate to be born to parents that were not ready for them or could not handle the responsibility. Many of these children will have the fortunate fate of having foster and adoptive parents who can, will, and do take care of them, allowing that the parents and the child are open to loving homes that are out there. Unfortunately, sometimes the parents will not allow others to love their children, keeping the child in constant limbo for years and years. And this is nothing new. Orphanages have existed for many years. When I think of simple times, I often think of "Little House on the Prairie." But even Charles Ingalls had an adopted son - Albert.

I, too, am guilty of the last complication of life. Throughout my early to mid-twenties, I lived way beyond my means. Now I am paying the consequences. Fortunately I do have a job. I am eternally grateful for this, especially in a time when so many do not. My desire is that when I get out of debt this time, I will not go back. I really cannot believe I am in this situation again. We got in this place by some necessary things (car repairs) and some unnecessary things (clothes, home decor, eating out, lots of junk...) I have been on credit consolidation once before and we have paid off both credit cards that I possess at least once. The only option I currently have is to consolidate again and pay them off. We are going old school and saving change in a large bucket for our next large purchases, a new sofa and television. Our sofa is a hand-me-down and slowly losing its comfort factor - who knows how old it was before it came to live with us? Our television's age is comfortably in the double-digit years. With the switch to digital transmission, we have already noticed that when the switch happens, we will only be seeing half of our television shows, because half of the screen will be cut off. It already happens when we watch NBC shows, like Saturday Night Live. Unless everything also goes to online availability, we will be watching absolutely nothing after June. It some ways this will be a good thing. We were watching way too much TV anyway. Sometimes I think this digital switch is kinda a blessing in disguise. 

Hopefully we have learned our lesson and will not spend money on junk anymore...hopefully now that we have switched our TV off, it will stay off and we spend more time actually doing stuff together, besides staring at a screen...hopefully we can channel some Ingalls family faith, hope and love and learn to live simple...

Happy Sunday

I have been studying religions of the world and philosophy. One thing that is really interesting to me is the way that so many are so similar. It is amazing to me that so many religions can have so much in common, yet we, as modern day Americans, can be so closed-minded, always thinking our way is the one and only true religion. Judge not, my brothers and sisters. Currently, I am combining practices of other religions to enhance and deepen my own spiritualization. I will declare now, before I get too far into this, that I consider myself a non-denominational Christian.

For example, yoga. I have heard it called pagan worship. I have heard it's just exercise. I have gone for two weeks and I am loving it. It is great exercise, so I am taking care of my body, which is something that I know God wants me to do. During the infamous "ohms", I pray. And not to Buddha, but my God. Prayer is something I definitely need to do more of. I get so relaxed at a yoga session. Everything negative in my mind just melts away. And I know it is good for me to let go of all that stress. 

Fasting is part of several religions. I am currently semi-fasting on Sundays. I have a bagel at church in the morning and only one more meal. Of course, I also drink lots of water and juice. This helps me focus on Sundays, my Sabbath, my day for my Father God.

I wish everybody would become more consicous of their spirituality. I think its best when each person explores their faith individually. You need to know what you believe and why. And "I'm -------- because my parents are -------- does not cut it. If you don't know why you believe what you believe, then it's not your faith; it's your parents. My faith is so much more important and comforting to me because I know why I believe, even if the majority of my beliefs are very much the same as my family's.

I love Gilmore Girls. . . but reject it as a life view.

I love Gilmore Girls, but I also hate Gilmore Girls. All these years of watching the show has given me a skewed view of what a mother/daughter relationship would be like. I don't know why I didn't view the Gilmores as fiction. Although, now that I really think about, I'm not sure whether my favorite girls are actually fiction or victims of circumstance. I mean, I guess if I had a girl at 16, refused to marry the father, moved out of my parents' house to a different town where I knew no one, and my only company was my daughter for the first 15 years of her life, then maybe I could be that tight with my kid. But that is not my life. And it's kind of an unrealistic and unique situation. 

I have a girl that came to live in our house at age 12. I have known her since she was 9. We used to be a lot "tighter" than we are now, but that all changed when I had to start playing "Mom". She doesn't confide in me anymore, but does have some friends that I trust that she does release to. Thank God for friends. I do wish one of them could be me but it seems that is years away from us at this point. But that's ok - I have a good relationship with my Mom and I do tell her everything now, something that I never felt like I could've done as a teen. I know now that I could have (and should have) told her what was going on in my life. It might have been a little painful and awkard at the time, but it also might have prevented me from making some of the major mistakes that I made.

That is another huge difference between me and Lorelai. Of course, there is a little strain in my relationship with my parents, but not like their's. I'm sure everyone has strain in their familial relations but I think very few are as flawed, strained, and obligated as the Gilmores (orthe Stiles or the Huntzbergers). Maybe the families I see aren't like that because most families I know are not as filthy, obscenely rich as the families in Hartford. Maybe the strain and obligation comes with the money. If so, I think I'll stay poor.

Adventures in Teen-Sitting

Many of you that are my age or older will remember the movie "Adventures in Babysitting," where a babysitter and her charges were kidnapped and had to get themselves rescued before the parents got home from their fancy party. Well, I love that movie and I used to watch it over and over again. Ever since I saw that movie, I often pretend that whatever I am dealing with in life is just another adventure that I have to go through to get to the end of the night. The end of the night where everybody is good, I get to go home with the cute boy, and I can relax. 

Well, nothing makes you feel more you are part of a bogus than parenting a teenager. In the movies, whether the genre is horror, action, or romantic comedy, there are rules. If you don't know the rules of the horror genre, watch the first Scream movie and Randy will tell you. The second and third movies even relay the rules of a horror sequel and trilogy. Every genre has its own rules. When a director or writer knows the rules, he or she can make a good movie. If you are an educated audience member that knows the rules, then you might be able to predict the ending or figure out the plot twists before they happen. If a character in the story figures out the rules, they get to survive til the end. Unfortunately, teens do not come with rules. However, I have noticed some patterns. I am thinking these might just become the rules of teen parenting. If that happens, I just might make it to the end of this adventure alive.

ule #1 - Everything you say that does not put your teen in a positive light will be seen as "yelling". Even if you say it in a whisper, if it something they don't wanna hear, you are yelling.

Rule #2 - The rules that apply to the entire rest of the world do not apply to teens. Everything in their world is a double standard. Don't even think about embarassing them, but they are more than eager to embarass you.

Rule #3 - As the parent figure, you know absolutely nothing. If there is something you really want them to do, get a friend to tell them. Tell them not to mention that you sent them. Teens will agree with anyone that is not their parental figure. If all else fails, tell them to do the opposite of what you really want.

Rule #4 - Anything that your teen does not have control over is horrible to them. If it is their idea, they are happy. If you are really crafty, then you can get them to make the right decisions by making them think it was their idea.

Rule #5 - Teens never make a bad decision. If you remember a time that they made a decision that they now regret, then you are wrong. You are misremembering that event. Remember, as a parent, you know nothing!

There may be more rules, but those are the ones that I have learned today. Maybe if I can put all of them into practice, I can survive til the end, or at least until she goes to college and I regain my intelligence and knowledge.

I am becoming a writer... (seriously this time)

I don't know when it happened or how but I think I am becoming a writer. I have tried many times to keep journals, to write stories, to write plays, to blog, etc. but right now in my life I seem to have a lot on my brain. I need to get it out. I feel like the best way to do that is put pen to paper (or characters behind a cursor as the case may be). 

I have no idea if anybody will want to read what I have to say, but I am just going to put it out here. I am not going to tag anybody. If you feel like commenting, please do - it will be much appreciated. I feel like I do have an unique life, so maybe it will be interesting to someone. Maybe it will be a blessing to someone. Maybe it will be helpful to someone. Maybe it will just be downright hilarious and ridiculous to someone. I don't know. I just feel like this is something God is nudging me to do and for once, I am going to try to listen to that nudge the first time (you know, before it becomes that smack up side the head that I get so often!)

Call it a blog. Call it a column. Call it a silly personal indulgence. Whatever you call it - this is what my writing will include. It will include how I deal with life. How I deal with life with MS. How I deal with life parenting an "adopted" teen that I did not give birth to, nor have I even known since her birth. It will include my life as a married Christian modern woman. It will include my life lived as one of the few white families in my inner-city neighborhood. I will share my love for my family, my friends, my neighbors, my city and my country. I will share my struggles as a lower middle-class, penny-pinching, coupon-clipping, change-saving, tree-hugging family. 

I will share me. Thank you for reading.

Mosaic Me

This was originally on facebook and I thought it was really cool, so I am sharing it on blogger, too!

a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search (http://www.flickr.com/).
b. Using ONLY the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Mosaic Maker. Change rows to 3 and columns to 3 (http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php).
d. Save the image and post it on this note!

The Questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What is your favorite color?
4. Favorite drink?
5. Dream vacation?
6. Favorite hobby?
7. What you want to be when you grow up?
8. What do you love most in life?
9. One word to describe you?

There's an app for that... (a.k.a. My Tirade on the iPhone)

I am getting so tired of the iPhone app commercials! Is there an app for that? Maybe an app that would automatically turn off any TV when that commercial comes on? Or mutes any TV that airs that commercial and unmutes it when the commerical ends?

These apps are getting ridiculous. I love the Apple company as a whole, but I think with this iPhone business is going a little overboard and sometimes really lacks originality. Of course, by watching the commercials on TV, you'd think they were the first people to ever think of these concepts.

Going skiing and need to know the conditions on the slope? There's an app for that . . . and most phones have weather applications now. Big deal. I also have the Weather Channel and the internet at home. And I can't think of how many times I have just spontaneously decided to go skiing when I only had my phone to plan my trip.

Out to dinner with friends and need to know how to split the bill? There's an app for that . . . yes, it's called a CALCULATOR and every phone I've ever had has one.

I just checked out the Apple store online and I don't feel any better. Here are the Top 10 most popular paid "apps" right now:
1. LightBike - a game, ok, that's fine, people have games on their phones and it looked pretty cool actually.
2. Blocked - another game, looks like a new version of Tetris
3. Wobble.Bikini.Fun - an app that you can use to make your photo or parts of your photowiggle. Seriously, sounds like homemade portable porn to me.
4. Yo Mamma - an insult generator. If you cannot defend yourself with your own words without the help of an insult generator, then you have no business even operating a phone, since that requires words. Besides how could you use it anyway if you were on the phone when you get insulted . . . ?
5. White Noise - your own personal noise machine . . . you know, for when you need your phone to put you to sleep. I can't think of a time when this would be useful. But they are nice enough to let you choose your own noise - beach, sprinkler, crickets, thunder, fireplace, etc.
6. Days of Thunder - another game with great graphics and of course, it's motion sensitive.
7. iShoot - literally. It's a game where you shoot things.
8. Monopoly Here & Now - another game, another version of Monopoly
9. Bejeweled 2 - yet another game.
10. Typing Genius - to help you improve your typing on your iPhone & iPod Touch. Yes, typing on a phone or PDA is different, but on my Palm, that app was free. Hmm . . .

Top 10 FREE Apps
1. Fastlane Street Racing - yet another game, but at least it's free.
2. iSteam - I think this is just a wallpaper for your phone that looks like steam on a mirror.
3. Bounce On Lite - another game
4. Public Radio Tuner - hey, there are useful apps! Hooray! A radio tuner is actually something that would come in handy - and it's FREE!
5. iPickup - pickup line generator for the iPhone & iPod Touch. May help those guys that are a little less confident with the ladies. Although any guys that may be reading this, I don't know any girls that actually fall for that. If we are seriously looking for a guy, the corny, cheesy pickup lines are just gonna give something to laugh about when we get back to our girlfriends. But hey, it's free, so if you have an iPod or iPhone, go ahead and give it a shot.
6. Mood Phone - show your mood on your phone . . . for those days that your facebook status is just not enough.
7. Zombie Attack - free game to attack the zombie next door
8. Rolando Lite - free game
9. iHandy Level - one of the few useful apps for the iPhone. I have nothing bad to say about the level - I think that is actually very useful.
10. Doodle Kids - a painting/art program. Ok, that could be fun - I could see my adorably creative husband playing around with that if he had an iPhone. The problem I have is that it was designed by a kid for kids. Designed by a 9-yr-old, that's awesome, amazing, . . . but for kids? How many kids out there have iPhones? No, nobody answer that, please don't . . . too many kids have cell phones, so I do not want to know about kids having iPhones!

The Still Small Voice of God

Something amazing happened to me last week and I want to share it so that you all may be encouraged also. Just knowing that God can still speak to us makes me feel very comforted.

Last week I had to go and work at concert in Knoxville for Mocha Club. Mocha Club is an organization kind of like Compassion International or World Vision where you can sponsor a child for a set amount every month. Except with Mocha Club, it's only $7 a month and you can help the entire communities, not just the children. (If you more info on that, let me know & I'll blog about that later!) So I had committed to volunteer at the Mocha Club table at the Dave Barnes concert. The day of the concert we were really tight on cash. I was very stressed out about our finances and so was Skip. We discussed if I should even go. But I really felt like I needed to go and I really didn't want to let them down by not showing up (I had no idea if I was the only person or if there would be others or anything because I had never volunteered for them before, but I feel very passionately about their work, so I really wanted to be there.)

I filled up my car with gas, leaving only about $3.00 in my bank account. I packed food for dinner for myself, Catherine and her friend Kimberly, since I knew that we wouldn't have money to stop for food. 

We had fun on the drive up there, fun at the concert (discovered some great new bands!), and I, along with fellow Mocha member, Joe, signed up 15 new members for Mocha Club. Everything was going great. It was pretty late on the drive back and the girls fell asleep. So I was alone with my music. My MP3 player was on shuffle and at first, I was happy singing along with tunes from RENT, Moulin Rouge, some classics and my current favorites, and not having to skip anything because it wasn't cool enough for the 13-year-olds. 

Then several slow songs came on in a row, so instead having fun singing, I was suddenly alone with my thoughts. I started stressing out and worrying about the troubles that awaited me at home. Then I stopped myself and said a little chat with the Big Guy. I said "God, please just help me stay calm and take care of my family's finances, at least until next payday."

The next song to play was Blue October's "Into the Ocean" - life is so chaotic and overwhelming that I feel like I am drowning. Then played Starfield's "I Will Go" - I will go where You send me, Lord, because I am Yours. And then finally, Kayla McMean's "In the Calm" - I am calm because the Lord is near me, I will listen to You and You will take care of me always.

I was so overwhelmed with calm and peace about the whole situation. When I got home, I checked my account and found $300.00! Exactly enough that we needed for the bills that were due and a little left over for groceries. 

I just love how God provides for us and takes care of us if we just have a little faith.

Mrs. Panda

So for some reason, Mrs. Prather is hard for young elementary schoolers to say. And I have discovered that if I do not give myself a nickname, I get so many wild variations of my name, like Mrs. Panther, Mrs. Panda, Mrs. Painter, Mrs. Prither, and even one class where the teacher told them to call me Mrs. P. So now when I am in an elementary school as a substitute, I introduce myself as Mrs. Prather and tell them it's ok to call me Mrs. Prather or Mrs. Panda and that I will not answer to anything else. 

On many occasions, I have been asked "Can we just say Ms. P?" and I say, "No, you pee in the potty; I will not be Ms. P - that's gross!!"

So in every elementary school I have subbed, I am known as Mrs. Panda. Today, I was in my favorite class, Mrs. Kelly's 2nd grade at Normal Park. I have been with them about 3 times before, so they already know me well. When classes changed for math groups, there was a new girl. She came over to ask for help with a math problem and heard other kids calling me Mrs. Panda and asked me why. I told her that my real name is Mrs. Prather, but that's really hard to say so they call me Mrs. Panda. She closed her math book and turned around to go back to her desk. All of a sudden, she stopped and turned back around to face me, and with big thoughtful eyes and the sweetest, most innocent voice, she asks, "Are you married to Kung Fu Panda?"

I smiled at her, did a karate chop in the air, and said -- You'll never know :)

My new Husband. Isn't he dreamy?