Many of you that are my age or older will remember the movie "Adventures in Babysitting," where a babysitter and her charges were kidnapped and had to get themselves rescued before the parents got home from their fancy party. Well, I love that movie and I used to watch it over and over again. Ever since I saw that movie, I often pretend that whatever I am dealing with in life is just another adventure that I have to go through to get to the end of the night. The end of the night where everybody is good, I get to go home with the cute boy, and I can relax.
Well, nothing makes you feel more you are part of a bogus than parenting a teenager. In the movies, whether the genre is horror, action, or romantic comedy, there are rules. If you don't know the rules of the horror genre, watch the first Scream movie and Randy will tell you. The second and third movies even relay the rules of a horror sequel and trilogy. Every genre has its own rules. When a director or writer knows the rules, he or she can make a good movie. If you are an educated audience member that knows the rules, then you might be able to predict the ending or figure out the plot twists before they happen. If a character in the story figures out the rules, they get to survive til the end. Unfortunately, teens do not come with rules. However, I have noticed some patterns. I am thinking these might just become the rules of teen parenting. If that happens, I just might make it to the end of this adventure alive.
ule #1 - Everything you say that does not put your teen in a positive light will be seen as "yelling". Even if you say it in a whisper, if it something they don't wanna hear, you are yelling.
Rule #2 - The rules that apply to the entire rest of the world do not apply to teens. Everything in their world is a double standard. Don't even think about embarassing them, but they are more than eager to embarass you.
Rule #3 - As the parent figure, you know absolutely nothing. If there is something you really want them to do, get a friend to tell them. Tell them not to mention that you sent them. Teens will agree with anyone that is not their parental figure. If all else fails, tell them to do the opposite of what you really want.
Rule #4 - Anything that your teen does not have control over is horrible to them. If it is their idea, they are happy. If you are really crafty, then you can get them to make the right decisions by making them think it was their idea.
Rule #5 - Teens never make a bad decision. If you remember a time that they made a decision that they now regret, then you are wrong. You are misremembering that event. Remember, as a parent, you know nothing!
There may be more rules, but those are the ones that I have learned today. Maybe if I can put all of them into practice, I can survive til the end, or at least until she goes to college and I regain my intelligence and knowledge.
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