QotD: My Biggest Environmental Pet Peeve

"Littering, long showers, not recycling... What's your biggest pet peeve about the way some people (mis)treat our planet?"
Sponsored by One Million Acts of Green brought to you by Cisco.

We all have become accustomed to "too much." This concept is definitely part of the modern American culture. I think it is sad the way that we have all lost our sense of enough. Losing this sense has caused us to be greedy and selfish and hoard up resources until our houses are merely the places to hold our stuff and there is no longer room to live. I have always loved the show (and books) "Little House on the Prairie." It amazed me how so many people could live in that little tiny house. But it was enough. Most in Walnut Grove had enough to live on, and if they had extra, they shared with their neighbors. Today, many Americans don't even know their neighbors. We could regain our sense of community and unity, then we would also become more green. If you care about your community and your neighbors, then you tend to think outside of yourself and you tend to do things that protect the surroundings of yourself and your neighbors.

Sunday Revelations

I had several very deep & profound thoughts in church today. Here are a few of my thoughts from today:

I was praying for peace about the recent loss of our foster child who moved back to a family member's home. I really had been struggling whether we made the right decision, did any of the last two years matter, what she would remember or take away from her time here, etc., and so on. Then it hit me... God always has a reason for everything. And we may not get to know His reasons for many years to come, if ever in this lifetime, but He always has a reason. My husband and I have been praying for months on end for God to help us to fix our finances, fix our marriage, fix our stress level... what if this was his answer. Get rid of the kid. Drastically changes our budget, gives us more time together as just a couple, and very much lowers the stress level. I still am not completely at peace with what happened or how it happened, but it did comfort me to remember that God does have a plan and only He knows the endgame. As much as I want to be in control of my own life, I am not - God is because I belong to God. Which just so happened to be sorta the topic of the sermon...

My pastor is so cool!! In his sermon, he equated God with Superman. He said we hold tight to God when we are scared just like Lois held onto Superman when they were flying. But we forget that God is holding onto us too. Superman was never gonna let Lois fall; God will never let us fall either. Thank you for reminding me of that! You, most awesome amazing preacher ever - I love you!

I am a writer... (version 2.0)

So I realized that a lot of stuff from my original blog intro is no longer accurate. There are some things that some of my closest friends didn't even know, because it was painful & awkard to talk about in the beginning. Here's an update...

Our pseudo-adopted teen is gone. She went to live with some cousins that have also been very influential & helpful to getting her mother some help she needed. I'm not happy about the way the change happened nor it was the right time, but part of loving a child is teaching them all you can as a parent and then allowing their free will to take over. Baby birds can't fly unless the mother kicks them out of the nest; baby giraffes learn to run because the mama giraffe keeps knocking it over every time it stands up. So all I can do is hope that she learned the things she needed to learn about life in the time that she was here and that when the time arises, she will remember those things and make the right decisions for herself...

Also I have been loving my neighborhood even more since I've been having to defend her to ignorant people who have know idea what its like to live in Ridgedale as of late (probably more on that later). I have actually been meeting more people in the few blocks around our house. The Ridgedale such a melting pot of people... I am less of a minority than I thought. Our neighborhood is predominately African-American; that part is true. But I have discovered that one the block across the street, there are at least 2 white families, 2 Hispanic families, and a few mixed race families. On the 2 blocks between us and McCallie Ave., there is a white outdoorsy couple that always has a kayak on the roof of their car, another white family, at least 2 mixed-race families, and at least 2 Hispanic families. I truly think my neighborhood is amazing. Ridgedale represents the melting pot that is America and I am proud to live here.

Sister Madonna Hardbody

ABC Nightly News interviewed a 78- year-old woman tonight.. Her name is Sister Madonna. She is a nun, a triathelete, and one of my new heroes. She has been a nun since she was 23 because it was her calling and life-long dream. Then she started running at age 47 when the priest suggusted she take the time to run and spend the time getting closer to God. She was so good at running, she did a marathon. She had discovered a new-found aptitude and love for sports, so she added cycling and swimming and soon started training for a triathalon. People question her on how running & such conflicts with her faith. Her response ( in front of a clip of "The Bionic Nun" trail-running) was "Not at all - I train in the middle of his masterpieces every day. It doesn't get any better than that!"

I admire her because she has obviously has taken care of her body well... I often wonder how so many people do it. I love eating junk, fatty foods (they just taste so good), and all the good traditional southern foods. I, like many, emotionally eat as well. Maybe I need to find out what nuns nosh on? I also love watching movies & TV, surfing the internet, readaing, scrappbooking - none of my main hobbies burn a lot of calories.. This is why I am not a triathelete.

I admire her because she turned an commonplace exercise and turned it into a spiritual experience. I admire the she makes prayer active, part of body, mind & soul, something that I strive to do, but haven't really mastered. I am trying to do yoga as of late. I like that is quiet, relaxing, and low impact. Yoga is very adaptive, so it conforms to my MS for that particular day. Some days I do it all with ease; some days I can't even get my foot off the ground for tree pose. I also like yoga because I can pray & meditate but that will only happen when I learn to clear my brain. This is why I'm not a marathon pray-er.

I wish I knew more about this woman...

Avoid Stress??

So today I had another visit from my least favorite MS visitor, the inability to swallow. This was one of the worst episodes I've ever had. I usually will get to eat the majority of my meal before everything just stops going down. It's like there was rush hour in my esophagus and a little traffic jam just turned into a 20 car pile-up. It usually only happens when I eat too fast or I'm in an extreme emotional state... too excited, too angry, too stressed. Well, this time I only took about 3 bites before I had to run to the bathroom and make myself feel like a bulimic teenager again. And usually have that embarassing & unfortunate trip, I can usually go back to the table and finish my meal. Not only did I have to pack up my beautiful Cracker Barrel catfish, hasbrowns, cinnamon apples, and country biscuits, but I could not eat them until 2 hours later when everything was absolutely cold.

I have talked to my primary doc & my neuro-dude & my allergy man. Since it doesn't happen with specific foods, allergies was ruled out. So it's either because instead of having an esophagus like a human, I have one like a cat's, and just like my dad & grandfather. Or when I get too stressed, my brain shuts off & my body forgets how to eat. Or a combination of both.

My doctors always tell me to avoid stress. Firstly, I want to take a page from SNL's Amy Poehlor & Seth Myer and say, "Really?" Because I don't see any way to avoid stress. There are things I can do limit my stress level; I can relieve my stress level. but avoid it completely. Really?Avoid stress. Hmm. Why didn't I think of that. Really! You know, because I just really enjoy stres, having those clenched up shoulders, the knot in my neck and the pit of my stomach. I love it! Really!

So if anyone knows any ways to avoid stress, feel free to let me know. 'Cause I'm out ...

simple things

Why are the simple things often so complicated?

I long for more simplicity in my life. 

It should be simple to stay married to your spouse. 
But marriage is hard work and many people are lazy. And many people get married for the wrong reasons.

It should be simple to take care of your children. 
But many are not ready to be parents and their children have to suffer. Many parents continue to make their children pawns in their games of life, jockeying for power and status, often at the detriment of their children.

It should be simple to make a living. 
But too many live beyond their means. Unemployment is skyrocketing, and since so many just live for the moment, never thinking about tomorrow, we are all in trouble.

I'm not saying that divorce is ALWAYS wrong. I'm not saying that all people that get divorced were lazy. I'm just saying it has way too commonplace in our nation. I am a minority with my parents being married 36 years. Instead of arguing about whether the gay couples can have the same legal rights as married people, why don't we work on strengthen our own unions? People tell me that gay people getting married will destroy the American family. Really? You mean, it will destroy the less than half of American couples that actually stayed married anyway. I think the American institution of marriage has already shot itself in the foot.

I used to say, "Some people just should not reproduce." But I cannot say that. It is not fair to say that. There are too many beautiful, wonderful children in our world that just had the unfortunate fate to be born to parents that were not ready for them or could not handle the responsibility. Many of these children will have the fortunate fate of having foster and adoptive parents who can, will, and do take care of them, allowing that the parents and the child are open to loving homes that are out there. Unfortunately, sometimes the parents will not allow others to love their children, keeping the child in constant limbo for years and years. And this is nothing new. Orphanages have existed for many years. When I think of simple times, I often think of "Little House on the Prairie." But even Charles Ingalls had an adopted son - Albert.

I, too, am guilty of the last complication of life. Throughout my early to mid-twenties, I lived way beyond my means. Now I am paying the consequences. Fortunately I do have a job. I am eternally grateful for this, especially in a time when so many do not. My desire is that when I get out of debt this time, I will not go back. I really cannot believe I am in this situation again. We got in this place by some necessary things (car repairs) and some unnecessary things (clothes, home decor, eating out, lots of junk...) I have been on credit consolidation once before and we have paid off both credit cards that I possess at least once. The only option I currently have is to consolidate again and pay them off. We are going old school and saving change in a large bucket for our next large purchases, a new sofa and television. Our sofa is a hand-me-down and slowly losing its comfort factor - who knows how old it was before it came to live with us? Our television's age is comfortably in the double-digit years. With the switch to digital transmission, we have already noticed that when the switch happens, we will only be seeing half of our television shows, because half of the screen will be cut off. It already happens when we watch NBC shows, like Saturday Night Live. Unless everything also goes to online availability, we will be watching absolutely nothing after June. It some ways this will be a good thing. We were watching way too much TV anyway. Sometimes I think this digital switch is kinda a blessing in disguise. 

Hopefully we have learned our lesson and will not spend money on junk anymore...hopefully now that we have switched our TV off, it will stay off and we spend more time actually doing stuff together, besides staring at a screen...hopefully we can channel some Ingalls family faith, hope and love and learn to live simple...

Happy Sunday

I have been studying religions of the world and philosophy. One thing that is really interesting to me is the way that so many are so similar. It is amazing to me that so many religions can have so much in common, yet we, as modern day Americans, can be so closed-minded, always thinking our way is the one and only true religion. Judge not, my brothers and sisters. Currently, I am combining practices of other religions to enhance and deepen my own spiritualization. I will declare now, before I get too far into this, that I consider myself a non-denominational Christian.

For example, yoga. I have heard it called pagan worship. I have heard it's just exercise. I have gone for two weeks and I am loving it. It is great exercise, so I am taking care of my body, which is something that I know God wants me to do. During the infamous "ohms", I pray. And not to Buddha, but my God. Prayer is something I definitely need to do more of. I get so relaxed at a yoga session. Everything negative in my mind just melts away. And I know it is good for me to let go of all that stress. 

Fasting is part of several religions. I am currently semi-fasting on Sundays. I have a bagel at church in the morning and only one more meal. Of course, I also drink lots of water and juice. This helps me focus on Sundays, my Sabbath, my day for my Father God.

I wish everybody would become more consicous of their spirituality. I think its best when each person explores their faith individually. You need to know what you believe and why. And "I'm -------- because my parents are -------- does not cut it. If you don't know why you believe what you believe, then it's not your faith; it's your parents. My faith is so much more important and comforting to me because I know why I believe, even if the majority of my beliefs are very much the same as my family's.

I love Gilmore Girls. . . but reject it as a life view.

I love Gilmore Girls, but I also hate Gilmore Girls. All these years of watching the show has given me a skewed view of what a mother/daughter relationship would be like. I don't know why I didn't view the Gilmores as fiction. Although, now that I really think about, I'm not sure whether my favorite girls are actually fiction or victims of circumstance. I mean, I guess if I had a girl at 16, refused to marry the father, moved out of my parents' house to a different town where I knew no one, and my only company was my daughter for the first 15 years of her life, then maybe I could be that tight with my kid. But that is not my life. And it's kind of an unrealistic and unique situation. 

I have a girl that came to live in our house at age 12. I have known her since she was 9. We used to be a lot "tighter" than we are now, but that all changed when I had to start playing "Mom". She doesn't confide in me anymore, but does have some friends that I trust that she does release to. Thank God for friends. I do wish one of them could be me but it seems that is years away from us at this point. But that's ok - I have a good relationship with my Mom and I do tell her everything now, something that I never felt like I could've done as a teen. I know now that I could have (and should have) told her what was going on in my life. It might have been a little painful and awkard at the time, but it also might have prevented me from making some of the major mistakes that I made.

That is another huge difference between me and Lorelai. Of course, there is a little strain in my relationship with my parents, but not like their's. I'm sure everyone has strain in their familial relations but I think very few are as flawed, strained, and obligated as the Gilmores (orthe Stiles or the Huntzbergers). Maybe the families I see aren't like that because most families I know are not as filthy, obscenely rich as the families in Hartford. Maybe the strain and obligation comes with the money. If so, I think I'll stay poor.

Adventures in Teen-Sitting

Many of you that are my age or older will remember the movie "Adventures in Babysitting," where a babysitter and her charges were kidnapped and had to get themselves rescued before the parents got home from their fancy party. Well, I love that movie and I used to watch it over and over again. Ever since I saw that movie, I often pretend that whatever I am dealing with in life is just another adventure that I have to go through to get to the end of the night. The end of the night where everybody is good, I get to go home with the cute boy, and I can relax. 

Well, nothing makes you feel more you are part of a bogus than parenting a teenager. In the movies, whether the genre is horror, action, or romantic comedy, there are rules. If you don't know the rules of the horror genre, watch the first Scream movie and Randy will tell you. The second and third movies even relay the rules of a horror sequel and trilogy. Every genre has its own rules. When a director or writer knows the rules, he or she can make a good movie. If you are an educated audience member that knows the rules, then you might be able to predict the ending or figure out the plot twists before they happen. If a character in the story figures out the rules, they get to survive til the end. Unfortunately, teens do not come with rules. However, I have noticed some patterns. I am thinking these might just become the rules of teen parenting. If that happens, I just might make it to the end of this adventure alive.

ule #1 - Everything you say that does not put your teen in a positive light will be seen as "yelling". Even if you say it in a whisper, if it something they don't wanna hear, you are yelling.

Rule #2 - The rules that apply to the entire rest of the world do not apply to teens. Everything in their world is a double standard. Don't even think about embarassing them, but they are more than eager to embarass you.

Rule #3 - As the parent figure, you know absolutely nothing. If there is something you really want them to do, get a friend to tell them. Tell them not to mention that you sent them. Teens will agree with anyone that is not their parental figure. If all else fails, tell them to do the opposite of what you really want.

Rule #4 - Anything that your teen does not have control over is horrible to them. If it is their idea, they are happy. If you are really crafty, then you can get them to make the right decisions by making them think it was their idea.

Rule #5 - Teens never make a bad decision. If you remember a time that they made a decision that they now regret, then you are wrong. You are misremembering that event. Remember, as a parent, you know nothing!

There may be more rules, but those are the ones that I have learned today. Maybe if I can put all of them into practice, I can survive til the end, or at least until she goes to college and I regain my intelligence and knowledge.

I am becoming a writer... (seriously this time)

I don't know when it happened or how but I think I am becoming a writer. I have tried many times to keep journals, to write stories, to write plays, to blog, etc. but right now in my life I seem to have a lot on my brain. I need to get it out. I feel like the best way to do that is put pen to paper (or characters behind a cursor as the case may be). 

I have no idea if anybody will want to read what I have to say, but I am just going to put it out here. I am not going to tag anybody. If you feel like commenting, please do - it will be much appreciated. I feel like I do have an unique life, so maybe it will be interesting to someone. Maybe it will be a blessing to someone. Maybe it will be helpful to someone. Maybe it will just be downright hilarious and ridiculous to someone. I don't know. I just feel like this is something God is nudging me to do and for once, I am going to try to listen to that nudge the first time (you know, before it becomes that smack up side the head that I get so often!)

Call it a blog. Call it a column. Call it a silly personal indulgence. Whatever you call it - this is what my writing will include. It will include how I deal with life. How I deal with life with MS. How I deal with life parenting an "adopted" teen that I did not give birth to, nor have I even known since her birth. It will include my life as a married Christian modern woman. It will include my life lived as one of the few white families in my inner-city neighborhood. I will share my love for my family, my friends, my neighbors, my city and my country. I will share my struggles as a lower middle-class, penny-pinching, coupon-clipping, change-saving, tree-hugging family. 

I will share me. Thank you for reading.