Mrs. Panda

So for some reason, Mrs. Prather is hard for young elementary schoolers to say. And I have discovered that if I do not give myself a nickname, I get so many wild variations of my name, like Mrs. Panther, Mrs. Panda, Mrs. Painter, Mrs. Prither, and even one class where the teacher told them to call me Mrs. P. So now when I am in an elementary school as a substitute, I introduce myself as Mrs. Prather and tell them it's ok to call me Mrs. Prather or Mrs. Panda and that I will not answer to anything else. 

On many occasions, I have been asked "Can we just say Ms. P?" and I say, "No, you pee in the potty; I will not be Ms. P - that's gross!!"

So in every elementary school I have subbed, I am known as Mrs. Panda. Today, I was in my favorite class, Mrs. Kelly's 2nd grade at Normal Park. I have been with them about 3 times before, so they already know me well. When classes changed for math groups, there was a new girl. She came over to ask for help with a math problem and heard other kids calling me Mrs. Panda and asked me why. I told her that my real name is Mrs. Prather, but that's really hard to say so they call me Mrs. Panda. She closed her math book and turned around to go back to her desk. All of a sudden, she stopped and turned back around to face me, and with big thoughtful eyes and the sweetest, most innocent voice, she asks, "Are you married to Kung Fu Panda?"

I smiled at her, did a karate chop in the air, and said -- You'll never know :)

My new Husband. Isn't he dreamy?

Hope for Hollywood

I am relieved to know that all of Hollywood is not selfish and shallow and materialistic. I just watched 3 episodes of Home Sweet Hollywood (reality show about Tori Spelling and Dean Whatever-his-name-is and of course baby Liam). Yes this week's episode they threw a $20,000 birthday party for their one-yr-old Liam, but I can't say anything since I dropped a whole paycheck on my child's 13th birthday party. I took 4 girls, a babysitter, my husband, myself, and my parents to a resort for the weekend. Extragavant, yes. But thats just what we do for our kiddos - give them those awesome memories and all the special times that we can. And I bet if you compared income ratios, its pretty similiar. I mean we didn't have Lonni Anderson, Carmen Electra, and Denise Richards and the mountain of presents at ours, but hey that's their circle of friends. I was impressed that they also did not keep all the gifts. They kept a few things for Liam and gave the rest to charities that would give them to kids who didn't have any toys. I think that is really cool. And I also was impressed that when they were house-hunting, Tori really stressed about their budget and about not getting more house than they could afford. I can totally relate to that right now! 

As celeb reality shows go, I give Tori & Dean 2-thumbs-up!

Identity Crisis

So at what point in your life do you get to discover who you truly are? And what defines you? Is it just my beliefs that define me? Is who I marry & my family & friends that define me? Is it my job? My hobbies? The church I go to? How I spend my money? 

I am going through a huge transition period right now. I hope my identity isn't linked to my job. I just recently had to list every job i'd had since high school on a job application & I didn't see a single one that I truly enjoyed. There were several that I liked in the beginning or had some good days but none that I truly loved. (Except for Stagedoor - after my initial homesickness freak out - but they are only open for the summer so that's not pratical.) Most of you know that I am trying to start a new career and a new life for my family in Sevierville. I do like this job - its a lot of fun & I get to talk to lots of people but I'm just not making much money. I feel like every job I like doesn't pay and the jobs that pay well I don't like or don't qualify for. My biggest wish is that SOON I find that job that fits - doesn't have to be perfect but a salary would be nice :)

Sleepless in (Pseudo) Parenthood

I can't sleep so I guess I'll write. In my class on dealing with stress, we were encouraged to keep a journal but this is the first time I have written since starting that class. Oh well - I guess I shouldn't stress about it!I am stressing about everything else though. I can't sleep. I feel like I am the devil and a hypocrite. Now that I am a pseudo parent, I find myself doing all the things that I hated my parents for when I was a kid. I guess deep down I feel like it made me a better person and I hope it works out the same in our situation. But the kid has lived 12 years without any rules, boundaries, or guidance and she feels like we are being so harsh in establishing any now. But kids need boundaries right? I don't feel like I can just like her run wild just because she always has before. I mean that is why she is with us, right? Because there is no one who can take care of her? Geez being a parent is hard. (I know my mom will be pleased to hear me admit that!)

I am also stressing about our house right now. Being a creative-minded and sensitive individual, I am very affected by my surroundings. The room that used to be the room where we stuck all the stuff we didn't want to deal with is now the kid's room. So we had to empty it out to make room for her. We haven't gotten everything out, just enough to get the bed and be able to walk. All the other boxes that we have put off going through are now staring us in the face - in the bedroom, in the living room, in the office. I am feeling so claustrophobic and smothered. I can't move without knocking something over. I can't walk through the house without tripping over something. I am about to lose my mind. I can't remember anything and I feel very agitated all the time. My family is coming to town this weekend and the kid wants to have a friend over this weekend. So I am feeling like I need to get everything out of here by Friday. I worked as much as I could in between helping her with her homework and eating dinner and fighting about her music choices, but there is still so much. Not to mention I didn't get done half of what I wanted to accomplish tonight. So in an attempt to make myself feel better before going to bed, me and Skip set a timer for 15 minutes and just did as much as we could in that time. We actually got a lot done, but I still can't settle down and sleep. That 15 minute spree happened at midnight.

I think I am going to try to sleep now. I am actually feeling tired - and a little less stressed, maybe I should pay more attention in that stress seminar!. I think tomorrow we will just put all the stuff into the garage and then go through it in the next 2 weeks. A lot of it I can tell will be purged. 2 weeks because that is when the church rummage sale happens and I am just going to take it all there and get rid of it all. I was going to have my own yard sale but I have been saying that for about a year and a half and at this point we have moved our yard sale items twice and I just need to get rid of them. It is high time for them to leave. Maybe when we get all the junk out, we can get around to actually living.