QGM Unplugged

So I've been without a phone since Friday, because I lost it somewhere at work. We also have no home phone because we didn't feel like we needed it. I knew it would bother me not having a phone, but I had no idea quite how much! I have realized how much I have come to depend on that small piece of plastic & metal. And then to further blow my whole reality away, we lost power today as well. My cousin Jason was visiting and we didn't know what to do! "Let's watch a movie." No, electricity required for vcr, dvd player or Netflix via PS3 or Wii. "Well my laptop has a charge; let's get on the internet." Nope, electricity powers the wifi hub so no internet either. Previously we had been cleaning and organizing the cluttermuck that is my house. (Anybody notice I totally made up a word back there? Trying not to curse, and it's funny to say so . . . hey, don't judge me!) After about 5 more minutes of cleaning, we decided that it was too hot for all that moving around since the house was heating up fast. So after opening some blinds and pulling back some sheers, we kinda had enough light to play cards. We played Munchkin, well Star Munchkin rather, there was much laughing and such, and Jason promptly kicked my booty. Beginners luck I say.

I digress from my original point. Are we all too plugged in our screens? Would my memory be better if I HAD to remember stuff instead of relying on a hunk of plastic? Would we have better relationships, better health, better a lot of things if we weren't so surrounded by plastic and electricity? While I still do want to find my phone, especially since we have no home phone, I would also like to not be so dependent on it when it (or a replacement) does show up.

Losing

Welcome to my new battle with weight. My primary care doctor has been telling me (and my husband) that weight must be lost or start preparing to deal with diabetes in the near future. My neurologist says that my MS will be more manageable with less pounds. Last week, I got completely knocked the freak out by a summer cold. I went to the doctor for my lovely Z-pack to knock this sinus infection back to heck and the nurse and I begin our traditional bit. Step on the scale. Numbers tip. Nurse coyly leaves the big slider on 150 and wiggles the small one all the way to the end. I sheepishly smile and mutter something like "Thanks" or "Nice try", and we move on to the 200's. I honestly don't know if I just don't look my weight or she's really bad at guessing.

This time was a little different. We moved to the 200 and she's wiggling the small slider and we get almost to the end again . . . blink, blink . . . WTF? I'm in total Whiskey Tango Foxtrot situation, Skip poking me to walk to exam room, keep looking back at the end of the hallway, bad place where the numbers 240 just flashed before my eyes . . .

And I can't even blame a recent large meal. I felt like crap and had barely kept down a very small orange poppy seed muffin so they could take a blood sample just before that. The point where we were talking about diabetes and my drugs working better was now 20 lbs ago.

So now I officially have 100 lbs to lose to be at my goal weight. I have 75 lbs to lose before my doctors are off my back. So far my brillant plan is attacking the wii fit and packing my lunch, cooking more for dinner. I know the drive-thrus are killing me. Other than that, I really don't know what to change . . .

Ahhhhh!

So I haven't blogged in a while and I apologize... and I have no excuse, I'm just a slacker who got obsessed with Mafia Wars, Pirates and virtual farming. Just trying to escape real life I suppose...

I am tired of escaping! Every time I get really depressed, I hibernate. I go to work, I go home, I sleep, and I hide - until I stop being sad. But this time, I got restless in my hibernation. I want to get out and be part of the world. So now is the time that I stop hibernating and get out of the house (or at least let people in!) Maybe the difference this time is I have friends that are coaxing me out of hibernation. Maybe it's the meds. Whatever it is that is different this time, I hope it sticks around.

I finally feel like I can breathe. Literally and figuratively. My asthma is finally under control and I think I know what to do to keep it that way. Our finances are finally caught up. I am loving not having all the credit card bills and wondering how to pay this and that and the other thing. It is such a relief to be able to just have the current month's bills in front of you and know that there might actually be a little extra. Right now I feel very very blessed.

Also Skip and I are entering another round of baby-making :) Most of you know that I already have my 4 sweet angel babies, but this time, the doctors think that we might actually get to keep the next one (or ones). Yes, I have MS, but the neurologist says that pregnancy actually does good things for MS. Since your immune system changes when you are pregnant, your body protects itself and the baby, so most pregnant women have no MS attacks during pregnancy. And yes, I have the blood-clotting disorder, but apparently it is not as bad as it could be and I just have to keep taking my aspirin and folic acid to thin my blood and that should be no problem this time.

This picture is the catalyst for my latest bout of baby fever. Well this picture and the fact that it seems like everywhere I look there is another pregnant friend or friends with adorable children (and yes, I tagged you - send me some of the water y'all are drinking!). Anyway, this is one of my baby pictures and I love it. I love my mama. And I want to be one so bad...

Me and my Mama ♥

I love it when stuff ...

I love it when stuff just works out. I am often the optimist in our household, and many times things work out. I did not expect things to work out quite this well. At the Theatre Mercado production meeting today, there was much good news and big changes coming up for our company. This is very exciting! We have our own space now!! Woo-hoo!!

We are now partnering with a film company so just like we dreamed Theatre Mercado will encompass all of the arts. We have live/stage theatre, filmed acting, visual art, musicians, dance, .... the list goes on and on. It really will be an arts marketplace right here in downtown Chattanooga. Exciting!

I cannot believe I was about to walk away from all this last week. After Thursday's meeting I was so mad... but I decided to just to take a deep breath (and a giant chill pill) and wait and see what happens. This is so amazing that God (and the theatre gods!) have blessed our company!

Stuff is working out all around me too! My friend LIndsay got a job and is moving back to Chattanooga this month. Hoo-ray for friends moving back to town, instead of away! Hooray indeed. My friend Anne has internet again and read my blogs so hooray for Internet! I figured out how to get on Vox on my new phone, so hooray for blogging! Speaking of phones, I love my new phone. It is almost like a mini laptop and so kicks iPhone's bootay, so hooray for Palm Pre! I am getting paid to do theatre, Anne gets paid to go rafting, Lindsay gets paid to work within her field, my dad is finally getting his disability checks, my husband gets paid to play with computers, so hooray for paychecks! Ok, so finally I really am happy - I promise it's not just the happy pills talking - which is a complete 180 from last summer. It's amazing how much life can change in a year!

QotD: My Biggest Environmental Pet Peeve

"Littering, long showers, not recycling... What's your biggest pet peeve about the way some people (mis)treat our planet?"
Sponsored by One Million Acts of Green brought to you by Cisco.

We all have become accustomed to "too much." This concept is definitely part of the modern American culture. I think it is sad the way that we have all lost our sense of enough. Losing this sense has caused us to be greedy and selfish and hoard up resources until our houses are merely the places to hold our stuff and there is no longer room to live. I have always loved the show (and books) "Little House on the Prairie." It amazed me how so many people could live in that little tiny house. But it was enough. Most in Walnut Grove had enough to live on, and if they had extra, they shared with their neighbors. Today, many Americans don't even know their neighbors. We could regain our sense of community and unity, then we would also become more green. If you care about your community and your neighbors, then you tend to think outside of yourself and you tend to do things that protect the surroundings of yourself and your neighbors.

Sunday Revelations

I had several very deep & profound thoughts in church today. Here are a few of my thoughts from today:

I was praying for peace about the recent loss of our foster child who moved back to a family member's home. I really had been struggling whether we made the right decision, did any of the last two years matter, what she would remember or take away from her time here, etc., and so on. Then it hit me... God always has a reason for everything. And we may not get to know His reasons for many years to come, if ever in this lifetime, but He always has a reason. My husband and I have been praying for months on end for God to help us to fix our finances, fix our marriage, fix our stress level... what if this was his answer. Get rid of the kid. Drastically changes our budget, gives us more time together as just a couple, and very much lowers the stress level. I still am not completely at peace with what happened or how it happened, but it did comfort me to remember that God does have a plan and only He knows the endgame. As much as I want to be in control of my own life, I am not - God is because I belong to God. Which just so happened to be sorta the topic of the sermon...

My pastor is so cool!! In his sermon, he equated God with Superman. He said we hold tight to God when we are scared just like Lois held onto Superman when they were flying. But we forget that God is holding onto us too. Superman was never gonna let Lois fall; God will never let us fall either. Thank you for reminding me of that! You, most awesome amazing preacher ever - I love you!

I am a writer... (version 2.0)

So I realized that a lot of stuff from my original blog intro is no longer accurate. There are some things that some of my closest friends didn't even know, because it was painful & awkard to talk about in the beginning. Here's an update...

Our pseudo-adopted teen is gone. She went to live with some cousins that have also been very influential & helpful to getting her mother some help she needed. I'm not happy about the way the change happened nor it was the right time, but part of loving a child is teaching them all you can as a parent and then allowing their free will to take over. Baby birds can't fly unless the mother kicks them out of the nest; baby giraffes learn to run because the mama giraffe keeps knocking it over every time it stands up. So all I can do is hope that she learned the things she needed to learn about life in the time that she was here and that when the time arises, she will remember those things and make the right decisions for herself...

Also I have been loving my neighborhood even more since I've been having to defend her to ignorant people who have know idea what its like to live in Ridgedale as of late (probably more on that later). I have actually been meeting more people in the few blocks around our house. The Ridgedale such a melting pot of people... I am less of a minority than I thought. Our neighborhood is predominately African-American; that part is true. But I have discovered that one the block across the street, there are at least 2 white families, 2 Hispanic families, and a few mixed race families. On the 2 blocks between us and McCallie Ave., there is a white outdoorsy couple that always has a kayak on the roof of their car, another white family, at least 2 mixed-race families, and at least 2 Hispanic families. I truly think my neighborhood is amazing. Ridgedale represents the melting pot that is America and I am proud to live here.