I have been studying religions of the world and philosophy. One thing that is really interesting to me is the way that so many are so similar. It is amazing to me that so many religions can have so much in common, yet we, as modern day Americans, can be so closed-minded, always thinking our way is the one and only true religion. Judge not, my brothers and sisters. Currently, I am combining practices of other religions to enhance and deepen my own spiritualization. I will declare now, before I get too far into this, that I consider myself a non-denominational Christian.
For example, yoga. I have heard it called pagan worship. I have heard it's just exercise. I have gone for two weeks and I am loving it. It is great exercise, so I am taking care of my body, which is something that I know God wants me to do. During the infamous "ohms", I pray. And not to Buddha, but my God. Prayer is something I definitely need to do more of. I get so relaxed at a yoga session. Everything negative in my mind just melts away. And I know it is good for me to let go of all that stress.
Fasting is part of several religions. I am currently semi-fasting on Sundays. I have a bagel at church in the morning and only one more meal. Of course, I also drink lots of water and juice. This helps me focus on Sundays, my Sabbath, my day for my Father God.
I wish everybody would become more consicous of their spirituality. I think its best when each person explores their faith individually. You need to know what you believe and why. And "I'm -------- because my parents are -------- does not cut it. If you don't know why you believe what you believe, then it's not your faith; it's your parents. My faith is so much more important and comforting to me because I know why I believe, even if the majority of my beliefs are very much the same as my family's.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Saturday, May 2, 2009
I love Gilmore Girls. . . but reject it as a life view.
I love Gilmore Girls, but I also hate Gilmore Girls. All these years of watching the show has given me a skewed view of what a mother/daughter relationship would be like. I don't know why I didn't view the Gilmores as fiction. Although, now that I really think about, I'm not sure whether my favorite girls are actually fiction or victims of circumstance. I mean, I guess if I had a girl at 16, refused to marry the father, moved out of my parents' house to a different town where I knew no one, and my only company was my daughter for the first 15 years of her life, then maybe I could be that tight with my kid. But that is not my life. And it's kind of an unrealistic and unique situation.
I have a girl that came to live in our house at age 12. I have known her since she was 9. We used to be a lot "tighter" than we are now, but that all changed when I had to start playing "Mom". She doesn't confide in me anymore, but does have some friends that I trust that she does release to. Thank God for friends. I do wish one of them could be me but it seems that is years away from us at this point. But that's ok - I have a good relationship with my Mom and I do tell her everything now, something that I never felt like I could've done as a teen. I know now that I could have (and should have) told her what was going on in my life. It might have been a little painful and awkard at the time, but it also might have prevented me from making some of the major mistakes that I made.
That is another huge difference between me and Lorelai. Of course, there is a little strain in my relationship with my parents, but not like their's. I'm sure everyone has strain in their familial relations but I think very few are as flawed, strained, and obligated as the Gilmores (orthe Stiles or the Huntzbergers). Maybe the families I see aren't like that because most families I know are not as filthy, obscenely rich as the families in Hartford. Maybe the strain and obligation comes with the money. If so, I think I'll stay poor.
I have a girl that came to live in our house at age 12. I have known her since she was 9. We used to be a lot "tighter" than we are now, but that all changed when I had to start playing "Mom". She doesn't confide in me anymore, but does have some friends that I trust that she does release to. Thank God for friends. I do wish one of them could be me but it seems that is years away from us at this point. But that's ok - I have a good relationship with my Mom and I do tell her everything now, something that I never felt like I could've done as a teen. I know now that I could have (and should have) told her what was going on in my life. It might have been a little painful and awkard at the time, but it also might have prevented me from making some of the major mistakes that I made.
That is another huge difference between me and Lorelai. Of course, there is a little strain in my relationship with my parents, but not like their's. I'm sure everyone has strain in their familial relations but I think very few are as flawed, strained, and obligated as the Gilmores (orthe Stiles or the Huntzbergers). Maybe the families I see aren't like that because most families I know are not as filthy, obscenely rich as the families in Hartford. Maybe the strain and obligation comes with the money. If so, I think I'll stay poor.
Adventures in Teen-Sitting
Many of you that are my age or older will remember the movie "Adventures in Babysitting," where a babysitter and her charges were kidnapped and had to get themselves rescued before the parents got home from their fancy party. Well, I love that movie and I used to watch it over and over again. Ever since I saw that movie, I often pretend that whatever I am dealing with in life is just another adventure that I have to go through to get to the end of the night. The end of the night where everybody is good, I get to go home with the cute boy, and I can relax.
Well, nothing makes you feel more you are part of a bogus than parenting a teenager. In the movies, whether the genre is horror, action, or romantic comedy, there are rules. If you don't know the rules of the horror genre, watch the first Scream movie and Randy will tell you. The second and third movies even relay the rules of a horror sequel and trilogy. Every genre has its own rules. When a director or writer knows the rules, he or she can make a good movie. If you are an educated audience member that knows the rules, then you might be able to predict the ending or figure out the plot twists before they happen. If a character in the story figures out the rules, they get to survive til the end. Unfortunately, teens do not come with rules. However, I have noticed some patterns. I am thinking these might just become the rules of teen parenting. If that happens, I just might make it to the end of this adventure alive.
ule #1 - Everything you say that does not put your teen in a positive light will be seen as "yelling". Even if you say it in a whisper, if it something they don't wanna hear, you are yelling.
Rule #2 - The rules that apply to the entire rest of the world do not apply to teens. Everything in their world is a double standard. Don't even think about embarassing them, but they are more than eager to embarass you.
Rule #3 - As the parent figure, you know absolutely nothing. If there is something you really want them to do, get a friend to tell them. Tell them not to mention that you sent them. Teens will agree with anyone that is not their parental figure. If all else fails, tell them to do the opposite of what you really want.
Rule #4 - Anything that your teen does not have control over is horrible to them. If it is their idea, they are happy. If you are really crafty, then you can get them to make the right decisions by making them think it was their idea.
Rule #5 - Teens never make a bad decision. If you remember a time that they made a decision that they now regret, then you are wrong. You are misremembering that event. Remember, as a parent, you know nothing!
There may be more rules, but those are the ones that I have learned today. Maybe if I can put all of them into practice, I can survive til the end, or at least until she goes to college and I regain my intelligence and knowledge.
Well, nothing makes you feel more you are part of a bogus than parenting a teenager. In the movies, whether the genre is horror, action, or romantic comedy, there are rules. If you don't know the rules of the horror genre, watch the first Scream movie and Randy will tell you. The second and third movies even relay the rules of a horror sequel and trilogy. Every genre has its own rules. When a director or writer knows the rules, he or she can make a good movie. If you are an educated audience member that knows the rules, then you might be able to predict the ending or figure out the plot twists before they happen. If a character in the story figures out the rules, they get to survive til the end. Unfortunately, teens do not come with rules. However, I have noticed some patterns. I am thinking these might just become the rules of teen parenting. If that happens, I just might make it to the end of this adventure alive.
ule #1 - Everything you say that does not put your teen in a positive light will be seen as "yelling". Even if you say it in a whisper, if it something they don't wanna hear, you are yelling.
Rule #2 - The rules that apply to the entire rest of the world do not apply to teens. Everything in their world is a double standard. Don't even think about embarassing them, but they are more than eager to embarass you.
Rule #3 - As the parent figure, you know absolutely nothing. If there is something you really want them to do, get a friend to tell them. Tell them not to mention that you sent them. Teens will agree with anyone that is not their parental figure. If all else fails, tell them to do the opposite of what you really want.
Rule #4 - Anything that your teen does not have control over is horrible to them. If it is their idea, they are happy. If you are really crafty, then you can get them to make the right decisions by making them think it was their idea.
Rule #5 - Teens never make a bad decision. If you remember a time that they made a decision that they now regret, then you are wrong. You are misremembering that event. Remember, as a parent, you know nothing!
There may be more rules, but those are the ones that I have learned today. Maybe if I can put all of them into practice, I can survive til the end, or at least until she goes to college and I regain my intelligence and knowledge.
I am becoming a writer... (seriously this time)
I don't know when it happened or how but I think I am becoming a writer. I have tried many times to keep journals, to write stories, to write plays, to blog, etc. but right now in my life I seem to have a lot on my brain. I need to get it out. I feel like the best way to do that is put pen to paper (or characters behind a cursor as the case may be).
I have no idea if anybody will want to read what I have to say, but I am just going to put it out here. I am not going to tag anybody. If you feel like commenting, please do - it will be much appreciated. I feel like I do have an unique life, so maybe it will be interesting to someone. Maybe it will be a blessing to someone. Maybe it will be helpful to someone. Maybe it will just be downright hilarious and ridiculous to someone. I don't know. I just feel like this is something God is nudging me to do and for once, I am going to try to listen to that nudge the first time (you know, before it becomes that smack up side the head that I get so often!)
Call it a blog. Call it a column. Call it a silly personal indulgence. Whatever you call it - this is what my writing will include. It will include how I deal with life. How I deal with life with MS. How I deal with life parenting an "adopted" teen that I did not give birth to, nor have I even known since her birth. It will include my life as a married Christian modern woman. It will include my life lived as one of the few white families in my inner-city neighborhood. I will share my love for my family, my friends, my neighbors, my city and my country. I will share my struggles as a lower middle-class, penny-pinching, coupon-clipping, change-saving, tree-hugging family.
I will share me. Thank you for reading.
I have no idea if anybody will want to read what I have to say, but I am just going to put it out here. I am not going to tag anybody. If you feel like commenting, please do - it will be much appreciated. I feel like I do have an unique life, so maybe it will be interesting to someone. Maybe it will be a blessing to someone. Maybe it will be helpful to someone. Maybe it will just be downright hilarious and ridiculous to someone. I don't know. I just feel like this is something God is nudging me to do and for once, I am going to try to listen to that nudge the first time (you know, before it becomes that smack up side the head that I get so often!)
Call it a blog. Call it a column. Call it a silly personal indulgence. Whatever you call it - this is what my writing will include. It will include how I deal with life. How I deal with life with MS. How I deal with life parenting an "adopted" teen that I did not give birth to, nor have I even known since her birth. It will include my life as a married Christian modern woman. It will include my life lived as one of the few white families in my inner-city neighborhood. I will share my love for my family, my friends, my neighbors, my city and my country. I will share my struggles as a lower middle-class, penny-pinching, coupon-clipping, change-saving, tree-hugging family.
I will share me. Thank you for reading.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Mosaic Me
This was originally on facebook and I thought it was really cool, so I am sharing it on blogger, too!
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search (http://www.flickr.com/).
b. Using ONLY the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Mosaic Maker. Change rows to 3 and columns to 3 (http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php ).
d. Save the image and post it on this note!
The Questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What is your favorite color?
4. Favorite drink?
5. Dream vacation?
6. Favorite hobby?
7. What you want to be when you grow up?
8. What do you love most in life?
9. One word to describe you?
b. Using ONLY the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Mosaic Maker. Change rows to 3 and columns to 3 (http://bighugelabs.com/fli
d. Save the image and post it on this note!
The Questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What is your favorite color?
4. Favorite drink?
5. Dream vacation?
6. Favorite hobby?
7. What you want to be when you grow up?
8. What do you love most in life?
9. One word to describe you?
Sunday, February 15, 2009
There's an app for that... (a.k.a. My Tirade on the iPhone)
I am getting so tired of the iPhone app commercials! Is there an app for that? Maybe an app that would automatically turn off any TV when that commercial comes on? Or mutes any TV that airs that commercial and unmutes it when the commerical ends?
These apps are getting ridiculous. I love the Apple company as a whole, but I think with this iPhone business is going a little overboard and sometimes really lacks originality. Of course, by watching the commercials on TV, you'd think they were the first people to ever think of these concepts.
Going skiing and need to know the conditions on the slope? There's an app for that . . . and most phones have weather applications now. Big deal. I also have the Weather Channel and the internet at home. And I can't think of how many times I have just spontaneously decided to go skiing when I only had my phone to plan my trip.
Out to dinner with friends and need to know how to split the bill? There's an app for that . . . yes, it's called a CALCULATOR and every phone I've ever had has one.
I just checked out the Apple store online and I don't feel any better. Here are the Top 10 most popular paid "apps" right now:
1. LightBike - a game, ok, that's fine, people have games on their phones and it looked pretty cool actually.
2. Blocked - another game, looks like a new version of Tetris
3. Wobble.Bikini.Fun - an app that you can use to make your photo or parts of your photowiggle. Seriously, sounds like homemade portable porn to me.
4. Yo Mamma - an insult generator. If you cannot defend yourself with your own words without the help of an insult generator, then you have no business even operating a phone, since that requires words. Besides how could you use it anyway if you were on the phone when you get insulted . . . ?
5. White Noise - your own personal noise machine . . . you know, for when you need your phone to put you to sleep. I can't think of a time when this would be useful. But they are nice enough to let you choose your own noise - beach, sprinkler, crickets, thunder, fireplace, etc.
6. Days of Thunder - another game with great graphics and of course, it's motion sensitive.
7. iShoot - literally. It's a game where you shoot things.
8. Monopoly Here & Now - another game, another version of Monopoly
9. Bejeweled 2 - yet another game.
10. Typing Genius - to help you improve your typing on your iPhone & iPod Touch. Yes, typing on a phone or PDA is different, but on my Palm, that app was free. Hmm . . .
Top 10 FREE Apps
1. Fastlane Street Racing - yet another game, but at least it's free.
2. iSteam - I think this is just a wallpaper for your phone that looks like steam on a mirror.
3. Bounce On Lite - another game
4. Public Radio Tuner - hey, there are useful apps! Hooray! A radio tuner is actually something that would come in handy - and it's FREE!
5. iPickup - pickup line generator for the iPhone & iPod Touch. May help those guys that are a little less confident with the ladies. Although any guys that may be reading this, I don't know any girls that actually fall for that. If we are seriously looking for a guy, the corny, cheesy pickup lines are just gonna give something to laugh about when we get back to our girlfriends. But hey, it's free, so if you have an iPod or iPhone, go ahead and give it a shot.
6. Mood Phone - show your mood on your phone . . . for those days that your facebook status is just not enough.
7. Zombie Attack - free game to attack the zombie next door
8. Rolando Lite - free game
9. iHandy Level - one of the few useful apps for the iPhone. I have nothing bad to say about the level - I think that is actually very useful.
10. Doodle Kids - a painting/art program. Ok, that could be fun - I could see my adorably creative husband playing around with that if he had an iPhone. The problem I have is that it was designed by a kid for kids. Designed by a 9-yr-old, that's awesome, amazing, . . . but for kids? How many kids out there have iPhones? No, nobody answer that, please don't . . . too many kids have cell phones, so I do not want to know about kids having iPhones!
These apps are getting ridiculous. I love the Apple company as a whole, but I think with this iPhone business is going a little overboard and sometimes really lacks originality. Of course, by watching the commercials on TV, you'd think they were the first people to ever think of these concepts.
Going skiing and need to know the conditions on the slope? There's an app for that . . . and most phones have weather applications now. Big deal. I also have the Weather Channel and the internet at home. And I can't think of how many times I have just spontaneously decided to go skiing when I only had my phone to plan my trip.
Out to dinner with friends and need to know how to split the bill? There's an app for that . . . yes, it's called a CALCULATOR and every phone I've ever had has one.
I just checked out the Apple store online and I don't feel any better. Here are the Top 10 most popular paid "apps" right now:
1. LightBike - a game, ok, that's fine, people have games on their phones and it looked pretty cool actually.
2. Blocked - another game, looks like a new version of Tetris
3. Wobble.Bikini.Fun - an app that you can use to make your photo or parts of your photowiggle. Seriously, sounds like homemade portable porn to me.
4. Yo Mamma - an insult generator. If you cannot defend yourself with your own words without the help of an insult generator, then you have no business even operating a phone, since that requires words. Besides how could you use it anyway if you were on the phone when you get insulted . . . ?
5. White Noise - your own personal noise machine . . . you know, for when you need your phone to put you to sleep. I can't think of a time when this would be useful. But they are nice enough to let you choose your own noise - beach, sprinkler, crickets, thunder, fireplace, etc.
6. Days of Thunder - another game with great graphics and of course, it's motion sensitive.
7. iShoot - literally. It's a game where you shoot things.
8. Monopoly Here & Now - another game, another version of Monopoly
9. Bejeweled 2 - yet another game.
10. Typing Genius - to help you improve your typing on your iPhone & iPod Touch. Yes, typing on a phone or PDA is different, but on my Palm, that app was free. Hmm . . .
Top 10 FREE Apps
1. Fastlane Street Racing - yet another game, but at least it's free.
2. iSteam - I think this is just a wallpaper for your phone that looks like steam on a mirror.
3. Bounce On Lite - another game
4. Public Radio Tuner - hey, there are useful apps! Hooray! A radio tuner is actually something that would come in handy - and it's FREE!
5. iPickup - pickup line generator for the iPhone & iPod Touch. May help those guys that are a little less confident with the ladies. Although any guys that may be reading this, I don't know any girls that actually fall for that. If we are seriously looking for a guy, the corny, cheesy pickup lines are just gonna give something to laugh about when we get back to our girlfriends. But hey, it's free, so if you have an iPod or iPhone, go ahead and give it a shot.
6. Mood Phone - show your mood on your phone . . . for those days that your facebook status is just not enough.
7. Zombie Attack - free game to attack the zombie next door
8. Rolando Lite - free game
9. iHandy Level - one of the few useful apps for the iPhone. I have nothing bad to say about the level - I think that is actually very useful.
10. Doodle Kids - a painting/art program. Ok, that could be fun - I could see my adorably creative husband playing around with that if he had an iPhone. The problem I have is that it was designed by a kid for kids. Designed by a 9-yr-old, that's awesome, amazing, . . . but for kids? How many kids out there have iPhones? No, nobody answer that, please don't . . . too many kids have cell phones, so I do not want to know about kids having iPhones!
Monday, February 9, 2009
The Still Small Voice of God
Something amazing happened to me last week and I want to share it so that you all may be encouraged also. Just knowing that God can still speak to us makes me feel very comforted.
Last week I had to go and work at concert in Knoxville for Mocha Club. Mocha Club is an organization kind of like Compassion International or World Vision where you can sponsor a child for a set amount every month. Except with Mocha Club, it's only $7 a month and you can help the entire communities, not just the children. (If you more info on that, let me know & I'll blog about that later!) So I had committed to volunteer at the Mocha Club table at the Dave Barnes concert. The day of the concert we were really tight on cash. I was very stressed out about our finances and so was Skip. We discussed if I should even go. But I really felt like I needed to go and I really didn't want to let them down by not showing up (I had no idea if I was the only person or if there would be others or anything because I had never volunteered for them before, but I feel very passionately about their work, so I really wanted to be there.)
I filled up my car with gas, leaving only about $3.00 in my bank account. I packed food for dinner for myself, Catherine and her friend Kimberly, since I knew that we wouldn't have money to stop for food.
We had fun on the drive up there, fun at the concert (discovered some great new bands!), and I, along with fellow Mocha member, Joe, signed up 15 new members for Mocha Club. Everything was going great. It was pretty late on the drive back and the girls fell asleep. So I was alone with my music. My MP3 player was on shuffle and at first, I was happy singing along with tunes from RENT, Moulin Rouge, some classics and my current favorites, and not having to skip anything because it wasn't cool enough for the 13-year-olds.
Then several slow songs came on in a row, so instead having fun singing, I was suddenly alone with my thoughts. I started stressing out and worrying about the troubles that awaited me at home. Then I stopped myself and said a little chat with the Big Guy. I said "God, please just help me stay calm and take care of my family's finances, at least until next payday."
The next song to play was Blue October's "Into the Ocean" - life is so chaotic and overwhelming that I feel like I am drowning. Then played Starfield's "I Will Go" - I will go where You send me, Lord, because I am Yours. And then finally, Kayla McMean's "In the Calm" - I am calm because the Lord is near me, I will listen to You and You will take care of me always.
I was so overwhelmed with calm and peace about the whole situation. When I got home, I checked my account and found $300.00! Exactly enough that we needed for the bills that were due and a little left over for groceries.
I just love how God provides for us and takes care of us if we just have a little faith.
Last week I had to go and work at concert in Knoxville for Mocha Club. Mocha Club is an organization kind of like Compassion International or World Vision where you can sponsor a child for a set amount every month. Except with Mocha Club, it's only $7 a month and you can help the entire communities, not just the children. (If you more info on that, let me know & I'll blog about that later!) So I had committed to volunteer at the Mocha Club table at the Dave Barnes concert. The day of the concert we were really tight on cash. I was very stressed out about our finances and so was Skip. We discussed if I should even go. But I really felt like I needed to go and I really didn't want to let them down by not showing up (I had no idea if I was the only person or if there would be others or anything because I had never volunteered for them before, but I feel very passionately about their work, so I really wanted to be there.)
I filled up my car with gas, leaving only about $3.00 in my bank account. I packed food for dinner for myself, Catherine and her friend Kimberly, since I knew that we wouldn't have money to stop for food.
We had fun on the drive up there, fun at the concert (discovered some great new bands!), and I, along with fellow Mocha member, Joe, signed up 15 new members for Mocha Club. Everything was going great. It was pretty late on the drive back and the girls fell asleep. So I was alone with my music. My MP3 player was on shuffle and at first, I was happy singing along with tunes from RENT, Moulin Rouge, some classics and my current favorites, and not having to skip anything because it wasn't cool enough for the 13-year-olds.
Then several slow songs came on in a row, so instead having fun singing, I was suddenly alone with my thoughts. I started stressing out and worrying about the troubles that awaited me at home. Then I stopped myself and said a little chat with the Big Guy. I said "God, please just help me stay calm and take care of my family's finances, at least until next payday."
The next song to play was Blue October's "Into the Ocean" - life is so chaotic and overwhelming that I feel like I am drowning. Then played Starfield's "I Will Go" - I will go where You send me, Lord, because I am Yours. And then finally, Kayla McMean's "In the Calm" - I am calm because the Lord is near me, I will listen to You and You will take care of me always.
I was so overwhelmed with calm and peace about the whole situation. When I got home, I checked my account and found $300.00! Exactly enough that we needed for the bills that were due and a little left over for groceries.
I just love how God provides for us and takes care of us if we just have a little faith.
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