I can't sleep so I guess I'll write. In my class on dealing with stress, we were encouraged to keep a journal but this is the first time I have written since starting that class. Oh well - I guess I shouldn't stress about it!I am stressing about everything else though. I can't sleep. I feel like I am the devil and a hypocrite. Now that I am a pseudo parent, I find myself doing all the things that I hated my parents for when I was a kid. I guess deep down I feel like it made me a better person and I hope it works out the same in our situation. But the kid has lived 12 years without any rules, boundaries, or guidance and she feels like we are being so harsh in establishing any now. But kids need boundaries right? I don't feel like I can just like her run wild just because she always has before. I mean that is why she is with us, right? Because there is no one who can take care of her? Geez being a parent is hard. (I know my mom will be pleased to hear me admit that!)
I am also stressing about our house right now. Being a creative-minded and sensitive individual, I am very affected by my surroundings. The room that used to be the room where we stuck all the stuff we didn't want to deal with is now the kid's room. So we had to empty it out to make room for her. We haven't gotten everything out, just enough to get the bed and be able to walk. All the other boxes that we have put off going through are now staring us in the face - in the bedroom, in the living room, in the office. I am feeling so claustrophobic and smothered. I can't move without knocking something over. I can't walk through the house without tripping over something. I am about to lose my mind. I can't remember anything and I feel very agitated all the time. My family is coming to town this weekend and the kid wants to have a friend over this weekend. So I am feeling like I need to get everything out of here by Friday. I worked as much as I could in between helping her with her homework and eating dinner and fighting about her music choices, but there is still so much. Not to mention I didn't get done half of what I wanted to accomplish tonight. So in an attempt to make myself feel better before going to bed, me and Skip set a timer for 15 minutes and just did as much as we could in that time. We actually got a lot done, but I still can't settle down and sleep. That 15 minute spree happened at midnight.
I think I am going to try to sleep now. I am actually feeling tired - and a little less stressed, maybe I should pay more attention in that stress seminar!. I think tomorrow we will just put all the stuff into the garage and then go through it in the next 2 weeks. A lot of it I can tell will be purged. 2 weeks because that is when the church rummage sale happens and I am just going to take it all there and get rid of it all. I was going to have my own yard sale but I have been saying that for about a year and a half and at this point we have moved our yard sale items twice and I just need to get rid of them. It is high time for them to leave. Maybe when we get all the junk out, we can get around to actually living.
I am also stressing about our house right now. Being a creative-minded and sensitive individual, I am very affected by my surroundings. The room that used to be the room where we stuck all the stuff we didn't want to deal with is now the kid's room. So we had to empty it out to make room for her. We haven't gotten everything out, just enough to get the bed and be able to walk. All the other boxes that we have put off going through are now staring us in the face - in the bedroom, in the living room, in the office. I am feeling so claustrophobic and smothered. I can't move without knocking something over. I can't walk through the house without tripping over something. I am about to lose my mind. I can't remember anything and I feel very agitated all the time. My family is coming to town this weekend and the kid wants to have a friend over this weekend. So I am feeling like I need to get everything out of here by Friday. I worked as much as I could in between helping her with her homework and eating dinner and fighting about her music choices, but there is still so much. Not to mention I didn't get done half of what I wanted to accomplish tonight. So in an attempt to make myself feel better before going to bed, me and Skip set a timer for 15 minutes and just did as much as we could in that time. We actually got a lot done, but I still can't settle down and sleep. That 15 minute spree happened at midnight.
I think I am going to try to sleep now. I am actually feeling tired - and a little less stressed, maybe I should pay more attention in that stress seminar!. I think tomorrow we will just put all the stuff into the garage and then go through it in the next 2 weeks. A lot of it I can tell will be purged. 2 weeks because that is when the church rummage sale happens and I am just going to take it all there and get rid of it all. I was going to have my own yard sale but I have been saying that for about a year and a half and at this point we have moved our yard sale items twice and I just need to get rid of them. It is high time for them to leave. Maybe when we get all the junk out, we can get around to actually living.
